You have this huge pile of wedding money (we’re thinking optimistically here) and so much stuff that you need to pay for. How much of that pile should get shoveled at each expense?
After much thought and agonizing or none at all, you’ve decided that you will not be taking his surname when you marry. Whether the reason is philosophical, for professional reasons, to avoid paperwork, or you just like the one you’ve got, it doesn’t matter. This is the 21st century and you are free to make that choice. Just be prepared that not everyone is as advanced as you are.
In the state of North Carolina you can ask your brother to marry you. Actually you can have any family member, friend, or acquaintance act as your officiant at your wedding. They just need to be “… an ordained minister of any religious denomination, a minister authorized by a church, or a magistrate…”