Shower and Wedding Thank You Etiquette

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They’re old fashioned and a pain in the butt.  No matter.  You still need to write your thank you notes.

If you’re thankful, and you’d better be, it has to be done.  Suck it up and write them.

You’re so lucky to have so many friends and family members that love you.  They came in from out of town, bringing gifts, their presence, and their warmth.  Thank them the right way.

Here are a couple guidelines for your thank you’s:

-ASAP (for showers):  Your thank you notes should be written within a couple days after your bridal shower.  It’s not like you’re going on a honeymoon immediately afterwards so get them done.  Plugging in your brand new toaster only takes so long.

-Within three months (for weddings):  Unlike your shower, you probably are going on a honeymoon immediately afterwards.  And then you’re moving.  And then you’re changing your name.  Your thank you’s are still a priority but they’re not the top priority.  You get three months to finish and send them.

-No envelope fill-ins:  Please don’t ask people to write their return address on an envelope so that it saves you time later on.  That’s exceptionally tacky.  You should already have everybody’s addresses from when you mailed them an invitation.  Take an extra 15 seconds per thank you and write in the return address yourself.

-No shortcuts:  Written, mailed thank you’s are a must.  Do not send an email.  Do not call them.  Do not send a snap with a random filter.  Those things are all nice and, if you want, you can do them in addition to your written note.  However, they don’t replace your written note.

-Reference the gift:  When you’re writing your note, make sure to reference the gift that you were given.  Yes, this can get a little tricky because you need to track who gave what. At your shower, designate somebody to take notes on who gave which present.  (You won’t be able to do it while you unwrap boxes.)  After your wedding, keep the card with the gift.

-Split the task:  Good news, you’re not in this alone!  For your post-wedding thank you’s, you can split this task with your new spouse.  Have him/her do their family and friends while you do yours.  (Sorry, you’re stuck doing all of them after the shower.)

If it helps you get them done, you can set your writing to dramatic keyboard music.  Whatever it takes, just get them done.  You’ll be thankful that you did.


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