You’ve heard about it. You maybe have even joked about it with your friends or your family. But what is one to do when suddenly struck down by a case of cold feet before the biggest day of their life? We want to see to it that every bride and groom finds their happily ever after so read up (or down, rather) for a few ideas.
Realize It’s Normal
First off, realize that feeling wary and a little uneasy before getting married is normal. You’re walking into a lot of unknowns, assuming it’s your first marriage (and even if it’s not). Your life is about to change in one of the biggest possible ways. If you’re feeling fearful or inadequate or scared of commitment, take a few deep breaths and realize that it will likely pass far more painlessly than a kidney stone.
Ask Yourself a Couple Things
If you’re still feeling a little drafty around your toes, maybe you just need to remind yourself of why you’re engaged and why you’re planning a nothing-held-back celebration of your love with one special person. Ask yourself if the person makes you happy. Ask if you can see yourself growing older and happier with your fiancé. Ask yourself if this is the person you can see being happy with for the rest of your life. If these questions still result in “yes” then we think you’re a-ok.
Annoyed? It’s ok.
Hate the way your future spouse eats cereal? Contemplate tripping them when they don’t shut off lights when they leave a room? Can’t stand their breath in the morning? Calm down. That’s natural. Being so close with someone will always result in tiny little pet peeves. Remember, they’re insignificant in the greater scope of things like…oh, finding the everlasting love of your life. Plus, your breath is probably bad in the morning, too. Don’t sweat it and remember to floss, friends.
Go On a Date
Sometimes you need to rekindle that fire to warm those tootsies. Take a break from your normal lives to plan something for just the two of you to reconnect and get back to what really matters. You’ll likely find that your worries and fears will dissolve when you make some quality time with the person you love. Snuggle, gaze into each other’s eyes and indulge in the excitement that is the rest of your lives together.
Talk It Out
If your concerns really need some attention, just sit down with your spouse-to-be and hash it out. Honesty is paramount to marriage – if it’s not there, you might as well nail the coffin shut. Make a list of concerns and go through them. Ensure your love is attentive and shows that they care about your doubts. It’s much better to know before the wedding happens than after you’ve stood up and said your vows…and then recanted them.
Something More Serious?
Sometimes it isn’t meant to be and it takes a proposal and a bit of wedding planning for real reservations to surface. If you think your chilly lower appendages aren’t a temporary thing, you need to be upfront and call off the wedding and planning as soon as possible. This will likely only add to the stress if you’ve already invested money and oodles of time that are non-refundable but, we promise, it won’t be worse than a divorce.
Cold feet? It’s no big deal unless there are some very serious and palpable fears. Do some soul-searching and reconnect with what will make you happiest. If it’s not the person you’re marrying, you have more than cold feet…you have necrotic trench foot. You might want to have that checked out.